Poetry: "In every season"

In Every Season

In every roller-coaster,

Winter, summer

Laughter, tears

Drought, rain

God remains here

God remains true 

God remains good.

He is faithful

Holds every yesterday

Present every moment

In control of every tomorrow

He is true.

Unwavering- though we toss like the sea

He is the rock of all ages

See, behold;

this is the beauty of our God.

Jesus- faithful true

Jesus- yes Amen

Jesus- Alpha Omega

Jesus- Emanuel

Jesus- first, the last

He is not far off 

No matter what you feel

"I will not fail you, nor give you up,

nor leave you without support

I will not forsake you,

nor let go of you

I will NOT!

For you are mine forever"

Erika Filter

Poetry: "Heal me"

HEAL ME!

Tears in my eyes,

I pick up the shards,

That once were my heart

Pain that does not stop,

Darkness comes over me

A violent unexpected storm

I fall to my knees

I scream aloud

My soul is shattering

"Heal me!

Make me whole!

HEAL ME!

Make me whole!"

That is the cry

Cry of my heart

As fears surround me

You sustain me,

Uphold me, Speak to me,

"I am your rock,

I am your Healer."

You are telling me to hold on tight, 

to keep trusting, to carry on the fight.

"Wait patiently,

be still and know 

that I am God.

I want to heal you,

so let go of all your hurt and pain"

"Yes Lord,

help me trust,

help me let go,

come Lord I allow you to heal,

I allow you to make me whole."

Erika Filter

Poetry: "O Woe is me"

O Woe is Me

O woe is me

I am a victim!

O deary me-

I am a victim!

Oh please feel sorry for me

I am a victim!

And if you don't; I will make up a drama

Where I am a victim.

No worth in me I see; unless

I am a victim.

Oh come and save me

I am a victim!

No responsibility I take, because

I am a victim.

Everything you must do for me-

I am a victim!

What tragedy these lies bring.

Yes I may have been a victim,

But whether I choose to remain there-

is a choice I make.

Erika Filter

Poetry: "A love story yet to be told…"

A love story yet to be told…

life ebbs.. the pain comes and goes.. the questions rise.. will you care?.. do you see my pain.. do you see my heart.. is it too much to ask that you care like I do? is this fire in my bones mine alone to hold... let go.. yet you seem to have a firm grip on my heart... get out of my head.. get out of my life.. yet will I be able to bear the pain.. greatest fears becoming true- you see me, naked, plain, full of shame; you see my beauty, you see my heart; you see me as I am yet you walk away.. or you do not walk at all, which seems to bring more pain.. rejection seems a better option than passivity, for at least there is no grey... yet grey and no-man's land is the country in which I live... trying to trust, trying not to make demands.. how is that even possible when my heart craves that which it may not have.. and who said that I may not have it? who said I may not have you? is it me, are my fears too great, my emotions too overwhelming, am I too much to handle? is it you- your fear that I will be like her, walking away, your fear of commitment, your struggles with the imperfections of a women's heart? Is it fate that has said no? Two star crossed lovers, not meant to be seems too heavy a cross. Why would fate pull such a card, where all seems lost, and there is no path.. let go... let go... I surrender, let go, yet all the while secretly hold on to the desire that this is not the end.. and that there will be a fairytale love still to be written, for yes although you do not know my heart is smitten.

Erika Filter

Poetry: "Be still"

Be still

I sing a song my child;

Sing a lullaby;

Rest in my embrace,

See the smile upon my face.

Do not fear- I am here;

I wipe away all you're tears,

I free you from all you're fears.

So do not fear, I’m here.

I have called you to reign, 

I have called you to be victorious.

Stop believing the lies.

Be still my child,

For I hear your cries.

I love you my child,

Yes, you are mine;

Come rule and reign with me,

Take my burden, it's easy and light.

Be still my child,

Know you are loved,

Know I am here;

Let go of all you're fears,

Be still for I am God.

Erika Filter

Poetry: "The path"

"The path"

One step after the next,

as I travel the path of life.

Walls tumble;

darkness fades.

Free at last!

Knowing there is still a way to go.

Knowing how far I've come;

Knowing You've been there all along.

Rocky paths,

smooth sailing-

You are my freedom,

You give me wings.

Lord I want to fly,

Fly and soar with You.

Free I am, free I remain.

For I am Yours and You are mine.

Erika Filter

Fire

Our society has trained us to avoid pain at all costs... have a headache take some medication, have some heartache watch a movie/drink/buy the new gadget etc. 

But what if pain was created to be good for us; to allow us to move from one season to the next. Without the pain of labour there would be no child; without the winter where the tress loose their leaves, there would be no new life in spring.

The other day I was walking in Jonkershoek, and the green leaves where a colour I have not seen before, they were the BRIGHTEST green. And I remembered there were terrible fires four months before. And it is because of the fire that beauty has come.. It reminded me of the principle that after death there is always new life. But to get to new life, death first needs to occur.

Are we willing to embrace the pain, embrace the fire, so that we may be found to have genuine faith? 1 Peter 1:7 "These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." 

It is only through God's strength, and praying like Jesus, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." (Luke 22:42) that we are able to face our Gethsemane. The beautiful thing is we are never alone- "Even though I walk through the darkest valley, the valley of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; Your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4. God is with us in the pain, in the valley of death. He is not afraid of your pain, He is not afraid of your dark. He is right there beside you- leading and guiding you through it.

"May the Lord bless you to embrace the pain, May He keep you even in hard times, May His face shine upon you  by knowing He is there ALWAYS, May He be gracious to you in all seasons, may His face turn towards you and may He give you a peace even in the fire"

Lessons learnt from a farmer

God can NOT be controlled, nor can He be micro-managed. He is a wild God (see Exodus 15:3). God is not like a light switch which can be turned on and off at our convenience. Instead God is a bit more like the rain. A farmer needs rains for his crops to grow. But there is nothing a farmer can do to make it rain (ok he can use sprayers, but that is much more expensive and not ideal).  We too must learn to wait for the rain of God's presence, sometimes we pretend and be all religious (like sprayers) but it's not the real deal. All a farmer can do is be faithful in what he does, sow the seeds, put fertilizer etc. So we can be faithful in reading the word, praying, going to church; but we can not cause it to rain. Only God can do that. And the amazing thing is although a farmer desires/needs like 200 milliliters, should it not have rained for a while he is grateful for the 33 he gets. Let us be like the farmer, although we may not 'experience' the fullness of God's presence (not 200 milliliters), let us be grateful for His presence (even if it's less than we are used to/expected). And may we ever ever take His presence for granted, for that is what the precious blood and sacrifice of Jesus died for. May we know, even if we do not experience His tangible presence that He will never leave nor forsake us (Heb 13:5).

May the Lord bless you and keep you in His presence,

may He make His face to shine upon you, send you the rain,

may He be gracious to you and may He give you peace in drought and abundance.