A longing so deep
Groanings of the soul
Accusations and lies that feel true
Shame an unwanted constant companion
Loneliness creeps in
Set ups and let downs
Hope deferred which sickens the heart
Am I only the outward appearance,
A wrapper slowly fading with the passing of time
As I reach my 5x7; 7x5
And the biological clock ticks louder
LOUDER and LOUDER
The number 40 ticking in my mind
The number 40 ticking in my body
LOUDER and LOUDER
In the comments; in the silence
In the gossip
Find your satisfaction in God,
But how do I get there
When my flesh is groaning
When society laughs
When fellow believers have given up
And the enemy whispers: “It’s too late”
LOUDER and LOUDER
I take a breath, which reminds me again
He is the breath of life
This God of the 11th hour
Who laughs with Sarah,
Who waits three days for resurrection.
He who holds time in His hands,
He whispers and calls me beautiful, His bride.
I am reminded that while there is breath there is hope.
So, I shake off the accusations,
Shake off the shame and remind myself
That this is the year of the multiplication of grace and perfection
My 5x7; 7x5
He will perfect all that concerns me,
He will give me grace in the waiting
So I hold unto His hand,
Hold unto His promises
As I wait and groan in my 5x7; 7x5
