Kingdom stuff

We all know Matthew 6:33 " But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Yet somehow we lose track of what this really means, we seem drawn into the world's system of thinking. We think that if only I can get enough money, I will have a nice house, a nice car, nice clothes and then I will be happy (and loved). Or give me the husband with the kids and the white picket fence then I will be content. This can be seen by our spending (and I'm talking to myself too!). How much of our money goes into making ourselves happier- buying a chocolate, a scarf etc. What would it really look like if we put God's kingdom first?! James 4:4 says "Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God." Ouchy!!! If that is not a wake up call I don't know what is.

Let's reconsider what the kingdom means; the kingdom means wherever the king reigns and living in HIS rule equals peace, love and justice. It also includes telling others about the king who is the Prince of Peace (Isa 9:6). So then what does Matthew 6 look like practically in my life and yours? Maybe it means instead of buying a chocolate for R10, giving that money to a car guard; or giving the money for your scarf to an orphanage. Or using the money to support a missionary overseas. It could mean just being friendly at work, seeking justice by signing a petition, or standing up for what is right. We need to hear from God what/where/when and how He wants us to contribute to His kingdom. But most importantly let's change the way we think- a car, nice house, good spouse (affirmation, status, power) will never truly satisfy. Let us seek the one who truly satisfies; who let's us never thirst again...

May the Lord bless you with satisfaction that comes only from Him
May He keep you in His righteousness
May His face shine upon you that you may extend His light and His kingdom
May He be gracious upon You in all you do
and may He give you peace as you walk to extend His peace to others. 

Poem: "Love will set you free"

LOVE WILL SET YOU FREE

Every time I offer my heart, 

the darkness whispers:

"You're too much;

SHUT UP! 

You have nothing to offer.

Shut up and withdraw."

Back to where it was,

that cold dark dungeon

feels safer than the risk of truly living.

The chains of loneliness,

heavy and familiar.

Light seems too potent, for the heart used to

the cold, damp, dark dungeon of fear. 

You have been set free,

so fly like a kite.

For love will set you free;

and your heart is a gift the world needs,

although it is one it will not receive.

Erika Filter

Poetry: "In every season"

In Every Season

In every roller-coaster,

Winter, summer

Laughter, tears

Drought, rain

God remains here

God remains true 

God remains good.

He is faithful

Holds every yesterday

Present every moment

In control of every tomorrow

He is true.

Unwavering- though we toss like the sea

He is the rock of all ages

See, behold;

this is the beauty of our God.

Jesus- faithful true

Jesus- yes Amen

Jesus- Alpha Omega

Jesus- Emanuel

Jesus- first, the last

He is not far off 

No matter what you feel

"I will not fail you, nor give you up,

nor leave you without support

I will not forsake you,

nor let go of you

I will NOT!

For you are mine forever"

Erika Filter

Poetry: "Heal me"

HEAL ME!

Tears in my eyes,

I pick up the shards,

That once were my heart

Pain that does not stop,

Darkness comes over me

A violent unexpected storm

I fall to my knees

I scream aloud

My soul is shattering

"Heal me!

Make me whole!

HEAL ME!

Make me whole!"

That is the cry

Cry of my heart

As fears surround me

You sustain me,

Uphold me, Speak to me,

"I am your rock,

I am your Healer."

You are telling me to hold on tight, 

to keep trusting, to carry on the fight.

"Wait patiently,

be still and know 

that I am God.

I want to heal you,

so let go of all your hurt and pain"

"Yes Lord,

help me trust,

help me let go,

come Lord I allow you to heal,

I allow you to make me whole."

Erika Filter

Poetry: "O Woe is me"

O Woe is Me

O woe is me

I am a victim!

O deary me-

I am a victim!

Oh please feel sorry for me

I am a victim!

And if you don't; I will make up a drama

Where I am a victim.

No worth in me I see; unless

I am a victim.

Oh come and save me

I am a victim!

No responsibility I take, because

I am a victim.

Everything you must do for me-

I am a victim!

What tragedy these lies bring.

Yes I may have been a victim,

But whether I choose to remain there-

is a choice I make.

Erika Filter

Poetry: "A love story yet to be told…"

A love story yet to be told…

life ebbs.. the pain comes and goes.. the questions rise.. will you care?.. do you see my pain.. do you see my heart.. is it too much to ask that you care like I do? is this fire in my bones mine alone to hold... let go.. yet you seem to have a firm grip on my heart... get out of my head.. get out of my life.. yet will I be able to bear the pain.. greatest fears becoming true- you see me, naked, plain, full of shame; you see my beauty, you see my heart; you see me as I am yet you walk away.. or you do not walk at all, which seems to bring more pain.. rejection seems a better option than passivity, for at least there is no grey... yet grey and no-man's land is the country in which I live... trying to trust, trying not to make demands.. how is that even possible when my heart craves that which it may not have.. and who said that I may not have it? who said I may not have you? is it me, are my fears too great, my emotions too overwhelming, am I too much to handle? is it you- your fear that I will be like her, walking away, your fear of commitment, your struggles with the imperfections of a women's heart? Is it fate that has said no? Two star crossed lovers, not meant to be seems too heavy a cross. Why would fate pull such a card, where all seems lost, and there is no path.. let go... let go... I surrender, let go, yet all the while secretly hold on to the desire that this is not the end.. and that there will be a fairytale love still to be written, for yes although you do not know my heart is smitten.

Erika Filter

Poetry: "Be still"

Be still

I sing a song my child;

Sing a lullaby;

Rest in my embrace,

See the smile upon my face.

Do not fear- I am here;

I wipe away all you're tears,

I free you from all you're fears.

So do not fear, I’m here.

I have called you to reign, 

I have called you to be victorious.

Stop believing the lies.

Be still my child,

For I hear your cries.

I love you my child,

Yes, you are mine;

Come rule and reign with me,

Take my burden, it's easy and light.

Be still my child,

Know you are loved,

Know I am here;

Let go of all you're fears,

Be still for I am God.

Erika Filter

Poetry: "The path"

"The path"

One step after the next,

as I travel the path of life.

Walls tumble;

darkness fades.

Free at last!

Knowing there is still a way to go.

Knowing how far I've come;

Knowing You've been there all along.

Rocky paths,

smooth sailing-

You are my freedom,

You give me wings.

Lord I want to fly,

Fly and soar with You.

Free I am, free I remain.

For I am Yours and You are mine.

Erika Filter

Fire

Our society has trained us to avoid pain at all costs... have a headache take some medication, have some heartache watch a movie/drink/buy the new gadget etc. 

But what if pain was created to be good for us; to allow us to move from one season to the next. Without the pain of labour there would be no child; without the winter where the tress loose their leaves, there would be no new life in spring.

The other day I was walking in Jonkershoek, and the green leaves where a colour I have not seen before, they were the BRIGHTEST green. And I remembered there were terrible fires four months before. And it is because of the fire that beauty has come.. It reminded me of the principle that after death there is always new life. But to get to new life, death first needs to occur.

Are we willing to embrace the pain, embrace the fire, so that we may be found to have genuine faith? 1 Peter 1:7 "These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." 

It is only through God's strength, and praying like Jesus, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." (Luke 22:42) that we are able to face our Gethsemane. The beautiful thing is we are never alone- "Even though I walk through the darkest valley, the valley of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; Your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4. God is with us in the pain, in the valley of death. He is not afraid of your pain, He is not afraid of your dark. He is right there beside you- leading and guiding you through it.

"May the Lord bless you to embrace the pain, May He keep you even in hard times, May His face shine upon you  by knowing He is there ALWAYS, May He be gracious to you in all seasons, may His face turn towards you and may He give you a peace even in the fire"

Lessons learnt from a farmer

God can NOT be controlled, nor can He be micro-managed. He is a wild God (see Exodus 15:3). God is not like a light switch which can be turned on and off at our convenience. Instead God is a bit more like the rain. A farmer needs rains for his crops to grow. But there is nothing a farmer can do to make it rain (ok he can use sprayers, but that is much more expensive and not ideal).  We too must learn to wait for the rain of God's presence, sometimes we pretend and be all religious (like sprayers) but it's not the real deal. All a farmer can do is be faithful in what he does, sow the seeds, put fertilizer etc. So we can be faithful in reading the word, praying, going to church; but we can not cause it to rain. Only God can do that. And the amazing thing is although a farmer desires/needs like 200 milliliters, should it not have rained for a while he is grateful for the 33 he gets. Let us be like the farmer, although we may not 'experience' the fullness of God's presence (not 200 milliliters), let us be grateful for His presence (even if it's less than we are used to/expected). And may we ever ever take His presence for granted, for that is what the precious blood and sacrifice of Jesus died for. May we know, even if we do not experience His tangible presence that He will never leave nor forsake us (Heb 13:5).

May the Lord bless you and keep you in His presence,

may He make His face to shine upon you, send you the rain,

may He be gracious to you and may He give you peace in drought and abundance.

Loving people

One of the greatest challenges in life is to love others the way Jesus loved us- by laying down His life for us.1 John 3:16 "By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren."

Why is it that people are so hard to love? That so much miscommunication comes in? 
The reason it is so hard to love others is our flesh- let's admit it, we're selfish sinful beings; who are only good because of Jesus' blood and grace. Jesus calls us to freedom (Gal 5:1; John 8:36) however we must use this freedom to lay down our lives for others the way Jesus laid down His life for us. Gal 5:13 "For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another"
Part of the reason there is miscommunication is because there is great power in unity- that is why Jesus last prayer for believers (see John 17). 

However I am firmly convinced that we can NOT truly love others if we don't love God first. Mat 22v37- 39 "Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’This is the first and great commandment. 
And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself."
However we can NOT love God without first receiving love from Him. 1 John 4:19 "We love Him because He first loved us." Thus my conclusion is that to love others we need to receive and to start understanding His great amazing love for us- which is only possible through His spirit. Eph 3: 17 "...that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."

"Holy Spirit please shed God's love abroad in our hearts; may we start to know how wide how deep, how great you're love is for us. Help us to lay down our lives, and use our freedom to love others and serve others the way Jesus served us and His disciples. Father we desire to know You're love, You're heart- take us deeper; that we may reflect more and more of you. Thank you Jesus for you're great love which is too great to understand- may I love in this love. Amen"

The Lord bless and keep you in His great love, 
may His loving face shine upon you;
may He give you and you're loved ones peace.

Poetry: "The promise"

The promise

I know the plans I have or you,

You  Erika- plans for good;

And not for disaster,

To give you a future and a hope (Jer 29:11).

It will look different than you expect,

It will not always be smooth sailing,

But I will be there;

Leading you step by step.

Let me fulfil my promise-

Let me lead you to your future.

Remember the promise when you are uncertain;

Remember even though confusion surrounds you.

I am in control, and yes

I have a plan, a plan for you.

Trust in me, hope in me, have faith in me.

I will fulfil my promise,

If you choose to walk with me,

If you choose to follow my ways.

When you face adversity, uncertainty;

Remember I am you’re rock, you’re security

You may not see the path, but I do.

Take my hand and walk with me.

Salvation story

I grew up knowing who Jesus was from a very young age, since my dad was a pastor at a German church. My parents had a relationship with God and because of this I had a relationship with Jesus from a very young age. I remember reading my Bible and praying almost every day since I was in Grade 3. I 'officially' got saved either when I was 13 at a play about Heaven and hell, or at 16 when we went to a conference as the Christian society. However what happened is that although I knew Jesus- I responded to every altar call after I got saved, I must have responded to at least 10 altar calls, always thinking that I had fallen back into sin. Sadly no one followed up on me. However when I was in varsity I met one of my best friends, Paula, and  her and her friends showed what it was like to be sold out for Jesus. and I knew I wanted the same. In 3^rd year of varsity, God’s grace came through and I met an evangelist Pravani. She walked a road with me, and she explained to me that I can be assured that I will go to heaven due to my faith in Jesus, not because what I have or have not done. Before that I often felt I needed to recommit my life because I had sinned again. It was through her speaking to me, Bible School and Ephesians 2:8-10 (For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—  not by works, so that no one can boast) that I knew without a doubt I’m going to heaven no matter what I’ve done or will do. Before I was often caught in trying to achieve God's love, trying to reach Him- rather than accepting that He has done it all for me! In this year I got baptised and went on my first mission trip. It’s been a journey of walking with God- receiving lots of healing for my issues, especially that of self-esteem. Before I did not think very much of myself and was seriously lacking in self-confidence, and it has been a process of walking with God to realize I am valuable, I have worth and I have something to add. I have not yet reached perfection- if only ;) but I know that I have grown immensely. I know that without God I would still hate myself. I'd still be trying to measure up rather than living knowing His love & that I am precious to Him.

May God bless you with the knowledge of His grace, that you do not need to strive to win His love, may He keep you forever and always, may He make His face shine upon you so that you may know you are loved & precious, may He be gracious towards you and give you peace as you live for Him. <3