Poetry: "The promise"

The promise

I know the plans I have or you,

You  Erika- plans for good;

And not for disaster,

To give you a future and a hope (Jer 29:11).

It will look different than you expect,

It will not always be smooth sailing,

But I will be there;

Leading you step by step.

Let me fulfil my promise-

Let me lead you to your future.

Remember the promise when you are uncertain;

Remember even though confusion surrounds you.

I am in control, and yes

I have a plan, a plan for you.

Trust in me, hope in me, have faith in me.

I will fulfil my promise,

If you choose to walk with me,

If you choose to follow my ways.

When you face adversity, uncertainty;

Remember I am you’re rock, you’re security

You may not see the path, but I do.

Take my hand and walk with me.

Salvation story

I grew up knowing who Jesus was from a very young age, since my dad was a pastor at a German church. My parents had a relationship with God and because of this I had a relationship with Jesus from a very young age. I remember reading my Bible and praying almost every day since I was in Grade 3. I 'officially' got saved either when I was 13 at a play about Heaven and hell, or at 16 when we went to a conference as the Christian society. However what happened is that although I knew Jesus- I responded to every altar call after I got saved, I must have responded to at least 10 altar calls, always thinking that I had fallen back into sin. Sadly no one followed up on me. However when I was in varsity I met one of my best friends, Paula, and  her and her friends showed what it was like to be sold out for Jesus. and I knew I wanted the same. In 3^rd year of varsity, God’s grace came through and I met an evangelist Pravani. She walked a road with me, and she explained to me that I can be assured that I will go to heaven due to my faith in Jesus, not because what I have or have not done. Before that I often felt I needed to recommit my life because I had sinned again. It was through her speaking to me, Bible School and Ephesians 2:8-10 (For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—  not by works, so that no one can boast) that I knew without a doubt I’m going to heaven no matter what I’ve done or will do. Before I was often caught in trying to achieve God's love, trying to reach Him- rather than accepting that He has done it all for me! In this year I got baptised and went on my first mission trip. It’s been a journey of walking with God- receiving lots of healing for my issues, especially that of self-esteem. Before I did not think very much of myself and was seriously lacking in self-confidence, and it has been a process of walking with God to realize I am valuable, I have worth and I have something to add. I have not yet reached perfection- if only ;) but I know that I have grown immensely. I know that without God I would still hate myself. I'd still be trying to measure up rather than living knowing His love & that I am precious to Him.

May God bless you with the knowledge of His grace, that you do not need to strive to win His love, may He keep you forever and always, may He make His face shine upon you so that you may know you are loved & precious, may He be gracious towards you and give you peace as you live for Him. <3 

When life happens...

So what do you do when life (i.e. crap) happens. When things don't turn out the way you want them to? When you loose keys and don't find them despite having faith. When you still struggle with a disease despite countless prayers. Or when you are struggling with the same emotional problem again?! 

These are hard questions. I was asking myself this question, due to my dissapointment in having lost a friend's car keys and not finding them, despite feeling I had received a promise to do so. And  there I was sitting in a restaurant trying not to cry because it sucks. I felt God show me a picture of Jesus' nail pierced hands, and the sense that this is how much God loves me. He gave everything for me!! It seems this is the question the devil keeps bringing up, since the garden of Eden: "Is God really good? Why then is He withholding?" And since the beginning of time, we fail and tend not to trust God's heart- especially when things go badly. Jeremiah 29: 11 which says " For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. " is in a bad time. It is in a time where the Israelites are prisoners aka. they are in a crappy place far from home, and it's not where they want to be at all. Yet God says in this bad situation, "Trust me, my heart is good; I have a good plan for you despite this mess." And this is the challenge for us- to believe God's heart, even when we don't see it. I will describe a story to further this principle: 

• A girl was worried about her relationship with her boyfriend because he was being secretive, and she felt he was being different  and she suspected he was cheating on her. She planned to break up with him, because of this. She decided to wait until her exams finish to do so. At the end of her exams- He proposed!! The reason he withdrew from her, was so that the engagement would be a surprise.

In the same way I tend to doubt God's heart, because I can't see things in the natural- but I have no idea what He is up to behind the scenes in the spiritual. I have no idea what wonderful surprises He is busy planning for me. So I'm trying to learn to trust His heart- because it is full of love, goodness, mercy and grace. And in Him there is not even a tiny bit of evil! He is ONLY GOOD!!! So may the Lord bless you and keep you with the knowledge that He is good! May His face continue to shine on you in good and bad times. May He be gracious towards you. May He turn His face toward you, and give you peace in those moments, those seasons where life happens, so that you may know His heart of love.

Poetry: "Darkness into light"

Darkness into light 

"I’m covered in sin,

Spoilt by evil.

There is no good in me,

None at all

Yet still after all this time

You stand and knock

Knock at my heart door,

Waiting patiently until I choose to let you in.

So used to my darkness.

Don’t want to let the light in.

Not the light of love and peace-

For I am so afraid.

For I am accustomed to the darkness,

The cold floor,

The rot,

And the isolation.

I don’t want war: I’ve had enough;

I’d like some peace.

I don’t want hate;

I’d like some love.

But for these things to come in,

Light must come with it-

But I’m afraid of what you’ll find.

Yet I know I cannot stay this way,

So slowly I get up,

To let the light in

I’m so weak, so afraid.

Dear Lord make me strong.

I know I’m a sinner,

Full of brokenness and death.

So come in Lord,

If you will have me.

Flooding light,

Shattering love;

Filling my darkness,

Filling my aches.

I’ll help you unpack

Lord I’d like you to stay.

For the light of your love is beautiful and true;

Thank you for turning my darkness into light. "

Erika Filter

Encouraging Scriptures: Dec 2012

Ok I'd like to share some Scriptures God has used to encourage me in my time of leaping in faith (aka moving to Stellies):

Joshua 1:5-6 "I will never leave you nor forsake you. ⁶ Be strong and courageous"
Johua 1:9 " ⁹ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Heb 13:5 (AMP): "...for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]"

Gotta love it!!! God will not fail you, He will not abandon you! I do not go alone, wherever I go He is with me; therefore I do not have to fear or worry- because He is right there! and he takes care of me, He does not leave me helpless, but instead is a ever present help in trouble (Psa 46:1). I know life can be hard, faith can be scary and sometimes it feels like nothing is working out! I know because in the last month I've decided to move to a place I barely know, change the way I dress, and I'm trying complain less. I've lost my purity ring (despite believing I'll find it again), said goodbye to many friends and dealt with some issues of my past. Not easy stuff, but through it all God was there- ready to listen, ready to help (even when I didn't feel Him). He kept reminding me He is there for me, He will give me new strength (Isa 40:29-31), and He will NOT abandon me. And I know despite hardships I face- God is with me, He is for me. Therefore I will keep standing, I will keep fighting, and I will keep being courageous  Because God will NOT fail me, he will not let me go, He will not forsake me- NEVER EVER (Read Heb 13:5 again!) 
May God bless you with the knowledge that He is there for you, will not fail you; may His face shine upon you, may He give you peace as you rest knowing you are safe in His hand! And may Jesus, always be gracious to you!

Poem

God:    Arise Erika! Let your light shine! For the glory of the LORD is shining upon you. Arise my love, my beautiful one, and come away; for behold the winter has passed, the flowers are in bloom and the time of singing has come. Yes spring is here! Arise my love, my beautiful one, and come away. You, Erika, have ravished my heart, you are my treasure; my bride. You are precious to me, you are honoured and I love you! “I have loved you deeply, with an everlasting love,” says the Lord. “You are my own special treasure.”

Erika:  Lord satisfy me with your love, for you are soo good, so ready to forgive and so full of unfailing love.  For you, oh Lord are all I really want in life.

God:    I created you, I have made you fearfully and wonderful and have cared for you, since before you were borne. I will carry you, and save you.  I have chosen you as my bride, my beloved. I the Lord delight in you and claim you as my own. I will rejoice over you, quiet you with my love, and sing over you. I hold you in my hand, and carry you close to my heart.

Erika:  O LORD, your unfailing love is better than life itself, LORD satisfy me with your love, for you are ALL I really want.

God:    My child, I have loved you with an everlasting love. I will not fail nor abandon you, so be strong and courageous, for I the Lord am with you, wherever you go. I clothe you with strength and dignity. I will give you beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning and praise instead of despair. All will be well with you, my child, for I know the plans I have for you, they are for good, and not disaster to give you a future and a hope. You will be overcome with joy and gladness, and you will inherit a double portion. Know all my promises are true, for I am the Lord, and I do not change.

Erika:  O LORD your love endures forever. You alone are GOD and you alone are worthy of all praise.

God:    Erika, I promise to rebuild you; I will loosen all the chains that bind you. I will remove from you all the insults and mockery against you. I have made you victorious! For I am about to do a brand new thing, see I have already begun, see a new life has been created in you. For I delight in you! Arise Erika, my love, my beautiful one and come away with me.

Still Single?!

So you’re 25, 35 etc. and yes you’re still single, and no you don’t really want to be that way, and NO there isn’t anything wrong with you! You’ve just come back shopping for another bridesmaid dress, and it feels like your heart is breaking. It’s not like you want to marry him! But seeing them together, or just planning the wedding hurts A LOT!!! Especially if they are a godly couple, because there is a longing inside of you, put there by God to be known to be loved, cherished and protected. Yet somehow when we feel this, it makes us feel like bad Christians, like we’re saying God is not enough. Yet God has put the desire there!!! It has been a real struggle for me personally to realize there is not something wrong with me for wanting a man. Before I started dealing with my issues, I pushed guys away, and hated them and the idea of wanting one, although deep inside I did want one. Now where I’ve started to deal with the stuff which is part of living in a broken world, I realize I do want a man and that’s ok… it’s actually a God given desire.



Sometimes as a single young lady, it’s hard not to think there is something wrong with you, especially when people make comments about your looks, personality etc. And you’re so over people matchmaking you, you just wish people (excluding Mr. Right of course) would leave you alone!!! But those are some of the challenges you deal with on a daily basis, as a single woman. And I want to say it’s ok to struggle with your singleness. I know I often do! I also want to say when it feels eina to go to another wedding, kitchen tea, baby shower, kids’ birthday party, or to just be around godly couples- just remember God loves you: He is there! He is you’re comforter (Isa 51v12), He is you’re husband (Isa 54v5; 62v5); and He will never EVER leave you (Joshua 1v5; Heb 13v5). And it’s not always easy, it often feels like you are in the wilderness and you’re promised land is 40 years away! (Let’s hope it’s not!) But when you’re heart is heavy and sore, bring it to Him; He understands- He loves you more than you can know. Ask someone to pray for you, and always ALWAYS remember to keep you’re eyes glued to the cross. He loves you SO much he paid the price for you, He gave it all so you could love, know and be in a relationship with Him. So when the going gets tough- remember there is one who calls you precious, who deems you worthy of his blood, one who pursues you, desires you, one who loves you with a deep unfailing love, one who will never let you go. So open you’re heart: pour it out to him: the good the bad and the ugly, every hurt, every pain, all the longing. He knows you, He loves you, and He wants you’re heart. Respond to the invitation and come as you are to him, even if it’s broken and sore. Accept his heavenly marriage proposal of sharing his everlasting love. May God bless you, keep you, may His face shine upon you now in you’re single days and forever more.

Poetry: "You are the one"

"You are the one

You see me- though no one else does

You hear me- though no one else cares

You are with me- always and forever

You are enough in my here & now.

My heart is longing.

My heart is searching

I want to find you

I want to know you

Fill me afresh;

Love me anew

Hold me tight

Never let me go

You are the one I run to;

You are the one I long for-

You are the one I need

You are the one I want.

You are the reason I’m alive.

You are my hearts desire;

You are the missing puzzle to my soul

You are my everything, my all.

My life is yours

My heart is yours.

My love is yours;

For you Lord Jesus, are the one."