Let go of the old

Recently I’ve decided to get a new car. Now those who know me, know my car is like my personality loud &  robust. I’ve had many a adventures in choertiji (also known as Golfi, Herbi, Boomerang). And when someone came to look at her to see if they want to buy her, my heart sank- her seats are ripped, the seat-belt isn’t working, her body looks a bit bruised, but man she has soullll...

As you can tell I’m emotionally attached to Golfie, perhaps it is that she was my first car, the one I said that I would drive till she dies. Perhaps it’s all the fond memories; hooting at random people because we can, going on road-trips and alot of fun. Prehaps it is because it is the most expensive possession I ‘own’. But I’ve always believed God has blessed me with choertji, so I can bless others. And I believe I have...

So I ask myself the question, why is it hard for me to let go? Do I somehow doubt God’s provision? Or that the new will not be good, because I'm comfortable with the old broken down? Do I believe the lies of the enemy that somehow I deserve a choretji (old car)? It seems strange that despite all her many flaws I desire to keep her. But are we not all like that? We struggle to give up the old the comfortable, because we do not believe God wants to bless us with the new and better. We hang unto our addictions, our self-defeating behaviours because somehow we think this is it, this is the way I’m supposed to live. But God has called us to let go of the old to embrace the new.

What if Lazrus after being resurrected (see John 11), wanted to keep the grave cloths on? What a strange picture, a living man in burial clothes. Jesus says to unbind him, and so we need to allow Jesus to unbind us from our old unhealthy ways of thinking, doing and relating. Let’s let go of the old to embrace the new.

May God bless you as you let go

May the Lord unbind you from your ’grave-cloths’

May God make His face shine upon you as you embrace the new

And may He give you peace in the transforming process

Perspective

I’ve recently moved to a beautiful city (Durban), when I got here all I could see where beautiful big green trees. As time passed I started to see the fences and walls to keep people safe. Today I was walking along the beach, when I got here I saw the beautiful sea and restaurants; now that a bit of time has passed I see the old delapdated buildings. When you stay in a beautiful place, after time passes you forget to appreciate the beauty. And it got me thinking about perspective. It can be so easy to see the bad things, what is wrong in a job, in your life, in a relationship, in you, and your family; but do you see the good? You see places and people have both good and bad, but what do we choose to focus on? It does not take much effort to criticise/complain, but the word of God tells us to “Do everything without complaining” Phil 2:14, but instead to be grateful and thankful (see Eph 5:20).

God sees things in a different way than we do, His thoughts are not our thoughts (Isiah 55:9). In 1 Sam 16:7 says "But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.” God sees the internal (heart – our attitudes, intentions), not the external.

My parents are amazing, ‘plat op die aarde’, very humble people, and they too do not focus on the external. At times I feel drawn into the system of the world of “How do I look?”, what do I drive, wanting to keep up with the filtered Jonses instead of remaining focused on what is truly important. Col 3:2 says Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth (unlike the world). Because you see what truly counts is not the dress I wear, but the way I treat people. I am to put on ‘love’ (Col 3:14) not some name brand. So you see what is of true importance is the eternal, the hearts of people and the presence of God. So let’s keep our minds focused on this.

May the LORD bless you with a heavenly perspective

May He keep you focused on Him & His kingdom

May God make His face shine upon you as you remain humble

May God give you peace as you turn your eyes unto Him.

Beautifully flawed

I can’t count how many times in my life I wished I would feel less, or at least less intensely. Often others go thorough stress, and they seem to not let it bug them. But for me it’s to the 10^th degree stress. When something sad happens, it feels like my heart breaks (and yes to the 100^th degree that others seem to experience, or so it feels). But oh the joy when I have joy... No I don’t have bipolar, but I do feel intensely and I feel a lot. 

I’ve often wished my heart to be harder. Yet I know God wants to give us a heart of flesh (Ezek11:19). And so today as I was crying, pouring out my heart to God; wishing again that I could be different when I was reminded of Psalm 139. A well known scripture to most, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (v13-14). What struck me is the phrase: "I praise you” and why does David praise the LORD? Because God did a good job with David. And not only did God do a good job with David, He did a good job with me! Wow! As I read that I realized I more often complain to God about how He made me (this can include complaining about looks, or part of your personality); rather than praising Him for how HE has created me.

You see God had a plan with the emotional way He made me. Maybe it’s so I can have greater compassion on those struggling, maybe it is so I can show others that to have emotions are ok, and it’s ok to cry. But I believe that the biggest  gift of my emotionality is to realize a closeness to God. For “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18. You see the gift of realizing you’re broken is that it brings you to God...When you realize how deeply broken you are, how you can’t without Him- it brings you closer to Him. Even as I type this I recognize that it is a journey of realizing the gifts He has given, even in the things we see as flaws. But for today won’t you join me in saying thank you God, for making us unique, beautiful, and creating a sense of awe in the masterpiece He has created and is creating in you & me (see Eph 2:10).

May the LORD bless you in knowing you are a masterpiece

May the LORD keep you from complaining about your ‘flaws’

May the LORD make His face shine upon you as you praise Him for His work in you

May the LORD give you peace as you search for identity in Him.

Control freak...

I’ve recently moved. And a lot has happened in short time- living in new place, new job a lot of means I have a lot of adjusting to do. I’m staying with relatives trying to find my own place. And I’ve been pushing to find a place to stay, pushing myself to find a church. I haven’t even been here a week and I’m trying so hard to make things happen. And that I’m busy freaking out because it’s not all happening NOW!  God showed me that it’s because I don’t really trust Him. OUCH! He  wants me to let  Him lead me and show me the way in HIS time. You see there’s nothing wrong with me making plans, or making effort to let the things fall in place. But there is a problem with my attitude, “LORD you are taking too long, so I will help you a bit”. Talk about PRIDE- OUCH!!!!

You see when we try to control everything in our lives we live in the wrong belief that God is

not soveirgn, and we don’t allow Him to be in control. It shows we don’t really trust Him to

make things good. Yes we can make plans, but we must remember “The heart of man plans

his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.” Prov 16:9. We are to acknowledge God 

in all we do, and then He will lead us “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean 

on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight 

your paths.” Prov 3:5-6

So yes, let’s make plans but trusting Him to lead us. Let us check our attitudes when we plan, making sure that there is not pride and unbelief in our hearts. For He knows what we need, He will lead us, His heart towards us is good! Let us believe this and from this place, ‘Let go and let God take control’.

May the LORD bless you with the grace to let go

May He keep you on His paths as you acknowledge Him

May His face shine upon with His goodness.

And may He give you peace even in the chaos of not being in control.

The evil of comparison

So recently I’m staying with someone else’s mom, and she’s a great aunty, but well... she’s not my mom. Funny that for some reason, probably because I miss my mom, I compare the two. I’ve been looking for a church family, and having been in the same one for the last 8 years; well it’s really hard not to compare. Then I think but they don’t do worship like we do, they are too this or to that. And so goes the evil of comparision. But you see each mother is unique and special to their own children. And each church is a different manifestation of God’s character. I believe each church, except cults of course, are a reflection of a different aspect of God; like the different colours of the rainbow.

And then there’s Facebook, where you get to compare the ‘perfect illusion’ of the other person’s life to yours. And you feel you don’t look as nice, have as much fun, have as many friends as Sally does. But as they say the grass only looks greener, because there is more poo on the other side! Spend enough time with any person who looks like they have it all together and you will realize they don’t, they can’t otherwise they wouldn’t be human. When we compare and look at the riches, beauty, or talents of others we are envious or greedy. Col 3:5 (NLT) “Don't be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world.” Comparison shows that we are not grateful for what God has given us. It shows that there is an idol in our heart, for we secretly think if I only had that I’d be ‘happy’. Not recognizing that Jesus is the true joy giver (Psam 16:11).

I’ve also fallen into the trap of thinking someone else would be better suited to do my job or do a better job than me. But you see God didn’t put so-and-so here, He chose me! He thought I’d be best suited & that is why He has placed me where I am for this season. WOW J Eph 3:8-10 (HCSB) says  ^“This grace was given to me—the least of all the saints—to proclaim to the Gentiles the incalculable riches of the Messiah, and to shed light for all about the administration of the mystery hidden for ages in God who created all things.This is so God’s multi-faceted wisdom may now be made known through the church to the rulers and authorities in the heavens.” Paul is speaking of how despite that he is no-one God chose him to a special work (sharing the gospel to the Gentiles). You see we all have a unique place in God’s kingdom, we are all part of the body of Christ. We cannot say just because we have a different function to Paul, or Joyce Meyer that we are not part of the body. We all are needed! See 1 Cor 12:12-27. 

Another dangerous trap of comparison can be to compare your current boyfriend, or even husband, to your old one- again we need to recognize that God has made each person unique and so each relationship is also different and unique. It is unfair to compare! So let us guard our hearts and minds from comparing.

May the LORD bless you in knowing your unique place in the kingdom

May the LORD keep you with being content where you are at,

May He make His face shine upon you in all you do.

And give you peace by avoiding the comparison trap.

Communtiy, Family :)

Community, Family J

I’m German, well Springbok Deutsch, but hey it is my original language. And one thing admire about the South African German culture is their sense of community. I suppose it is because there are not many of us, we stick together. I will never forget my cousin’s wedding.The day before the whole community came together to set up tables, arrange flowers and put up decoration. I’m really amazed at this sense of community, family. 

I’ve recently moved and my realtives have taken me in feeding me. My father’s cousin offered to give me a bed and couch once I’ve found a more permanent place. I’m really amazed at their love for me. My favourite thing of visiting my gran is after coffee when we’ve all shared our hearts, we close our eyes and pray for each other. This is the feeling of family and isn’t this what the body of Christ should be like. Acts 4:34 “There was not a needy person among them, for as many as were owners of lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold” WOW!!! Now that’s what I call community, family. Yes it be great if we could get back to that (and many people have spoken of how we should), but maybe in small ways we can live community out here and now. By taking in someone who doesn’t have space to stay, giving someone our extra clothes, making effort with those who are new at our church by inviting them for coffee. Let us not get so involved in our lives that we forget to love those around us. As Christians Jesus has loved us, set us free from sin, and from worry about things of this world (see Matt 6:33). As Gal 5:13 says “For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” So let us learn from the German community, let us care for those who belong to Christ’s household. Let us be like the good Samaritan (Luke 10;30-37) and let God’s love flow through us.

May God bless us with His love

May He keep us in community

May He make His face shine upon us as we spread His love.

And may He give us peace in our families. 

Offence and forgiveness

Like water off a duck's back, offence is supposed to go straight off the Christian's soul. What keeps the duck's feathers free from water? it's the oil. So we need the Holy Spirit to help us forgive. God requires forgiveness; Col 3:13 says, " bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." This seems like a tall order, especially when people say or do things that hurt! That is why we need the oil- the Help of the Holy Spirit. It has been said by Alexander Pope, "to err is human, to forgive is divine". I think in some sense this is true, it is only possible for us to forgive with God's help. God in His great mercy has forgiven us of so much, and when we think of this it becomes easier to do the same. If I desire mercy, I need to be willing to show mercy (see Matt 5:7). When I look at God's example of forgiveness, and allow His Spirit to fill me with love it is much easier to show mercy.

Col 3:3 says "your life is hidden with Christ in God", if my life is truly hidden in Christ then it becomes unimportant/irrelevant what others think (or don't think of me). I'm definitely not there yet, bur I want to get to a place of security in Christ; where what He says about me and thinks of me is what defines me (and NOTHING ELSE!)
 "May Christ through your faith [actually] dwell (settle down, abide, make His permanent home) in your hearts! May you be rooted deep in love and founded securely on love" Eph 3:17 AMP. This is my prayer- that Jesus would live in my heart, and that my entire personality, who I am, would be secured in His love. If this would be my truest reality, how could I not forgive and love others?! 

"LORD make Your love our utmost, deepest reality. Ground us in Your love, let us draw from You- for You are the fountain of life. Hide us in You, that when offence comes it will not touch our hearts- for we know beyond a shadow of a doubt we are loved. Make us secure in You, we ask in Jesus name".

May the Lord bless you and keep you hidden in Him.

May He make His face to shine upon you so you will be rooted in His love.

May He give you peace as you forgive as He has forgiven you.

WEIRD!

Recently someone called me weird. It felt like a poisonous arrow that tried to pierce my soul. It brought up all the old wounds of rejection. It’s not like I haven’t tried to be ‘normal’ (who defines these things anyways?), but I am slowly accepting that my life does not look like the world thinks it should. James 4:4 says “Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” And Romans 12:2 says “Do not be conformed to this world” so in some ways it is good that I am different to the world. 1 Pet 2:9 “ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people” (KJV). We as Christians are called to be different than the world; to be light. But sometimes we try so hard to fit in because we want acceptance and love. Jesus knows what it is like to be rejected, “He was despised and rejected by men” Isa 53:3. This gives me comfort that Jesus knows what it feels like to be rejected. And in Jesus we become loved and accepted, Eph 1:6 (KJV) “he hath made us accepted in the beloved.” What great joy to know no matter what others think of me, in Him I AM LOVED <3

How do we treat people that are ‘different’? People can be different because of a disability, a psychological disorder, social class, the way they dress and speak, culture etc. Jesus loved the outsiders. He often healed leapers (see Mark 1:40-42, Luke 17:11-14). Lepers were such outsiders that they had to live outside the city and could have little human contact (Bible-gateway). Jesus hung out with prostitutes (can you imagine a ‘normal’ person having a conversation with a lady of the night?) and tax collectors (they were the ones siding with corrupt politicians of the time).

Luke  5:31-32 (GNB) "Jesus answered them, "People who are well do not need a doctor, but only those who are sick. I have not come to call respectable people to repent, but outcasts." So we see that Jesus loves outcasts, he calls them to repent and turn to Him. Again I ask how do we treat the man begging? The lady on the street corner? The person we think is a bit ‘strange’? Do we love them like Jesus, or do we also cast them aside?

I think that rejection is part of the human experience, we have all felt the pains of it. We can use that pain to come closer to God, and from the place of being loved by Him love others who don’t fit our box. We can remember the pain we felt when rejected by words and choose to speak words of life. Let us be like Jesus accepting the outcast, because we have been accepted by Him.

May the LORD bless you to know in Him you are the beloved.

May He keep you free from the sin of judgment.

May He make His face shine upon you as you share His love

And give you peace despite the rejection.

"Deliver me from the pit"

How many of our prayers are "deliver me from the darkness" rather than "Thank you that you are with me in the darkness". We so often pray that God will deliver us, we forget that God is with us therefore we do not need to fear. It's hard! At times David prayed for God to deliver him from the pit. Let's be honest the pit (fire/refining/whatever you want to call it) SUXS! But what if God put us (or allowed us) in the pit? I mean let's be honest, we all tend to forget how we need Him for everything- literally for every breath. But boy when we are in the pit we KNOW. Pride disappears, we are desperate for Him, because we know we can NOT do it without Him. 

Following this, I wander how am I supposed to pray? For myself? for others?
I don't necessarily think it is wrong to pray and ask God to deliver us from he pit, because it's coming to God with our pain. Psa 62:8 (NIV) "Pour out your heart to Him". I believe we need to do this. As we do this, we realise again how small we are and how big He is; it help us trust in Him for He is our refuge (see rest of the verse). I think it is important that like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego we should include that even if God does not deliver us, we will worship no other god (see Dan 3:16-18). You see the breakthrough can become an idol, an idol being anything that is more important to us than God. 

Let us pray that we would be aware of God's presence with us in the hard times. This helps us have faith, and not fear the winds and waves. His presence with His guidance and protection (see Psa 23:4 AMP) bring us comfort and peace. Let us also have the courage to pray "yet not my will, but yours be done." Luke 22:42. Here we see Jesus pouring out His heart to the Father about the pain and fear, yet a willingness to submit to God's plans and thoughts. God's thoughts are after all higher than ours (Isa 55:9). When we pray like Jesus for God's will, it shows humility, trust and a knowing/believing that God knows best. 

May the LORD bless you with knowing He is with you

May the LORD keep you unafraid of the shadows

May the LORD make His face shine upon you, to make you brave to pray for His will.

And may He give you peace in the pit. 

Faith walk vs fear walk

We as Christians (I include myself) seem so scared to really live, to take chances, to make mistakes. Especially in dating, or is that just my singleness talking? It’s like there is so much pressure to get it ‘right’ so instead we don’t try at all. It’s as if we feel if we make a mistake it’s the end of the world. But this is actually living under a spirit of fear. It shows a fear of failure, a drive towards perfection and in some ways doubting God’s sovereignty, because we think our mistakes are bigger than God’s ability to fix them. Recently I've had the revelation that God's love and ability is greater than my mistakes. Rom 8:15 says “For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!" God does not want us to be slaves to fear, but to know we are His children, who are loved and that He is good and will help correct our mistakes.

I went for a walk with a friend and her two sons Vincent & Kiran (see photo); Kiran is 13 months and busy toddeling along. He takes two steps and he falls on his bum, he gets up takes three steps and falls again. Every time he falls on hard bricks, but he keeps getting up and toddeling along. We (the adults) don’t shout at his attempts to walk, nor do we get mad if he falls; no instead we giggle and smile and think he is too cute for words. I think God the Father is a lot like that, he smiles when we try (even when we get it wrong). Our job is just to keep getting up again (see Prov 24:16). God has called us to freedom (Gal 5:1), so let us not get enslaved to the fear of getting things wrong. But let us instead trust Him, that He can correct our mistakes. Let us trust that He loves us and is for us, therefore we do not need to be afraid to try and can keep on trying. My pastor said that it is easier to direct a car that is moving, rather than one who is standing still. So let’s let go of the chains holding us and start holding unto our loving Father’s hand.

1 John 4:18 AMP "There is no fear in love [dread does not exist]. But perfect (complete, full-grown) love drives out fear, because fear involves [the expectation of divine] punishment, so the one who is afraid [of God’s judgment] is not perfected in love [has not grown into a sufficient understanding of God’s love]." You see if we had a revelation of God's love and His Father heart, we would not be afraid. Instead we would be walking in faith- trust of our Father God. Trust that He is bigger than our mistakes, tust that He can correct our mistakes and trust His heart being for us. "LORD please give us a revelation of Your father heart, that You are for us. Flood our hearts and beings with Your perfect love. Remove the chains of slavery to fear. In Jesus name Amen" 

May the LORD bless you with knowing His Father’s heart.

May the LORD keep you from fear.

May He make His face shine upon you, as He helps you get up again.
May He give you peace in the trying.

Listen to "Good good Father"
And "No longer slaves"        

Change

I've been back to a place I only left 6 months ago to find out change is inevitable. A change of restaurant, a change of the church's building and structure, the change of Fanta's logo. Strange how this can catch you- especially if it's all on one day. And especially if you have been feeling stuck- like you are going nowhere slowly, or like a bad movie on repeat. And although people remain relatively the same- my heart aches and yearns for something to stay the same, yet something in me to be made new. 

In a world that is constantly changing, constantly re-inventing itself, it gives me great comfort that "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Heb 13:8. That since Jesus has been faithful to lead me in the past, He will be with me in my today and lead me in my tomorow. I can rest on Him and His steadfast love. He is our rock (see Psalm 18:2) 

Yet although He is constant, unchanging- He is willing to change us make us new, make us more like Him. You see we, as humans, get stuck, and that is perhaps why we have such a desperate need to remake ourselves, to remodel our buildings, change our brands. Yet "He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Rev 21:5. Isa 43:19 says "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." You see God wants to take our wilderness, our struggles and make something beautiful out of them. He wants to change us, make us more like Him. "We.. are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory" 2 Cor 3:18. 

So if you are looking for stability - God remains the same, yet He does not want us to remain stuck, He wants to make us new. So let us trust Him, let us look to Him, give Him our hurts so that He can produce a masterpiece- something new within us.

May the LORD bless You with knowing His faithfulness
May He keep You in His unchanging grace.
May He make His face to shine upon You, so you can trust Him.

And may He give you peace while He changes you.

A witness (El-Roi)

Recently I've had an immense need to share my life, my thoughts, my art, what happened in my day. And so I send people a picture of my walk, food, art, etc. Isn't this part of why WhatsAp, Facebook, Instragram etc are so popular. But after sending the picture I still feel dry. I've been asking myself- why this need to share? Yes part of it is that I'm lonely, another part is wanting to be significant. It is as if I need someone to witness my life. I want to know my life counts for something, I want to know someone sees and someone cares. I want to feel I'm different from the 7 bilion people on the planet- or someone notices me.

If I really knew Jesus as Emmanuel (Matthew 1:23) which means God with us- would I still be so intensely lonely? Jesus promised to never leave nor forsake us (Matt 28:20). Heb 13:5 (AMP) says "He has said, “I will never [under any circumstances] desert you [nor give you up nor leave you without support, nor will I in any degree leave you helpless], nor will I forsake or let you down or relax My hold on you [assuredly not]!” If this were my heart reality I would be less lonely. 

And significance? If I realised God is witness to my life wouldn't I know I'm significant?
Let us briefly look at the story of Hagar- Sarah's maid servant. In Gen 16 we read how she became pregnant by Sarah's suggestion, and then she started looking down on Sarah. Sarah treats Hagar badly and she runs away to the wilderness, where she meets the Angel of the LORD. He tells her to go back home,  she there realizes God sees her and cares for her. Gen 16: 13 (AMP incl footnote) "Then she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, “You are God Who Sees”(El-Roi= God never sleeps, He sees, He is aware, He is the great Omnipresent God); for she said, “Have I not even here [in the wilderness] remained alive after seeing Him [who sees me with understanding and compassion]?” What a beautiful revelation of God, He is the one who sees, not only does He see but He sees with understanding and compassion.

Wow! Talk about being significant. The Word says even the hairs on our head are numbered (Luke 12:7). We can know someone sees, someone cares and that is God Himself- with us, for us, seeing us with compassion and understanding. Even in our wilderness, we are not alone for we serve a God who sees.

May the LORD bless you with the heart knowledge of His presence.

May He keep you with His compassion.

May His face shine upon you, knowing He sees You.

And may He give you peace in knowing He is with You.

Poem: Sunday Rest

Sunday Rest

With a huff and a puff we pant up the hill.

To sit half way high on a rock...

I wish to savour this moment-

to put it in my pocket and save it for a rainy day.

We listen to the land breathe,

feel the wind trickling over us.

The birds coo a worship song,

as the grass bows its head in praise before its maker.

and on the seventh day God rested..

and enjoyed creation.

Here in this moment I remember to be;

remember to breathe.

Here I remember I am in His hands;

that there is still beauty to be seen in a fallen world.