The gift of weakness

What if my problems and weakenesses were a gift? This idea almost seems absurd in a culture and society so steeped in success and 'fake it till you make it'. It certainly goes against my human pride to rejoice in my weakness and struggles. James 1:2 says "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds". But let's be honest when I have a trial or problem I'm more likely to throw a pity party than get out the balloons.

What is my problems were a gateway or door way of sorts? You see when life is going (reasonably) smoothly it is easy to become prideful and forget that God has bought me to that good place. But when a trial arises and I recognize I am weak, it gives God a chance to work. Lets look at the Exodus  of the children of Israel (see Exodus 14). They found themselves in a real dilemma- chasing them was the Egyptian army and in-front of them was the red sea. Talk about being between a rock and a hard place. Yet had they walked the 'easy' way they would have never seen the miraculous hand of God split the red sea.

So yes we all agree problems stink, weaknesses aren't fun, but what if we allow God to use them to show up in His powerful way? If we let Him truly be God and allow Him to show up strong in the less desirable parts of our lives? As 2 Cor 12 says "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

Prayer: "Jesus forgive us where we want to be strong without you. Help us to see our problems as opportunities to see you at work. Strengthen our faith as we humbly admit we need you in our weaknesses. An please use our problems as a means to display your glory. Amen."

Fragile jars

Sometimes we try to come to God with our strength, thinking we need to be all sorted to come before Him. This is actually a form of pride- 'I can help myself' often lies behind this. When really He wants us to come as we are, without the masks, the make-up and the 'face' we tend to put on.

Have you ever tried to help in some way a person unwilling to receive help, try as you might you can't really offer help unless the person is willing to receive. And that is true in some senses with God, if we are not open and vulnerable before Him, we do not allow Him to give us His loving care. Matt 5:3 says "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." What does it mean to be poor in spirit? To be poor means to have lack/to have need; you see it is when we realize our lack that is when God gives us the kingdom.

2 Cor 12: 9 says "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” You see for God to show up strong we need to give Him our weakness. Psalm 62:8 says "Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him". You see God wants our hearts, because He wants a deep heart connection with us. Just as you should be able to share your deepest fears, hurts and weakness to the one closest to you; so God wants us to share these things with Him.

My art piece: Treasures in jars of clay

2 Cor 4:7 "We now have this light (light of God) shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves." It almost seems strange that God would come and place a great treasure in us, and He places it in us knowing our frailness. God is so great that He even shines through our brokenness- this is a mystery of the beauty of our God. The message Bible puts it like this "We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives." Clay jars were created by a potter, (we need to allow Him to work and shape us into the form He chooses) and at times valuable scrolls were kept inside the clay pot for safe keeping; such as the Dead Sea Scrolls (Got Questions). God puts His treasure of His Spirit within our brokenness. So we do not need to have it all together- He knows where you are at, and wants to shine through your brokenness.

May God bless you knowing you don't need to be strong

May He keep you in His loving arms

May He make His face shine upon you, as you display His glory through your weakness

And may He give you peace through it all.

Easter

 Last year around Easter I was going through a really hard time. I had sunk into despair and unbelief, because the things I was trusting God for I could not see. And although we are meant to walk by faith and not by sight (2 Cor 5:7) sometimes as humans we walk more by sight than faith.

 In this time I went to church, and although I felt far from God He reminded me of Isa 53:3 (ESV) "He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief" And it was as if God said that He is not some far off God who does not understand my pain and my grief, instead He himself went through the greatest pain upon the cross. As Heb 4:15 (ESV) says, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses"; this means that God understands pain; He understands sorrows and He understands our weakness because He too experienced this on the cross.

But not only does God understand our pain, He actually took our burdens upon Himself. T.A. Webb said that 'a burden shared is a burned halved'. But with Jesus not only do we have the privilege of sharing our burdens, we can give it to Him for Him to carry. Isa 53:4 (NKJV) "Surely He has borne our griefs. And carried our sorrows". Through Jesus there is healing, there is hope and we can give Him our burdens and our sorrows knowing He understands and that He carries them.

Another thing that amazes me is that at the cross when Jesus died all seemed without hope. I mean can you imagine following a leader for three years, thinking He will deliver you and then suddenly He is condemned to a cross, which meant he is cursed. But because Jesus rose again, the night of the cross is a symbol of hope for all Christians- it means our sins are forgiven- HALLELUJAH!!! This for me is such a strong reminder that God can do the same for us turn our hopeless situations around for His glory.

So this Easter I want to encourage us to come to Him, to give Him our burdens, whatever they may be- whether doubt, despair, sorrow, heart-ache or pain and know He has carried it. And when we do this He is able to transform our darkest night into the brightest day; just as He turned Good Friday into Easter morning.

May God bless you

May the LORD keep you in His loving hands

May He make His face shine upon you with Easter joy

And give you peace in knowing He understands

Bitter water made better

When I was a kid we liked tongue-twisters, one of which is “Betty bought a bit of butter, and the bit of butter was bitter so Betty bought another bit of butter to make the bitter butter better”.

Recently God has been speaking to me about slavery and bondage. Isa 52:11 (NLT) says “Go now, leave your bonds and slavery. Put Babylon behind you, with everything it represents, for it is unclean to you. You are the LORD's holy people. Purify yourselves, you who carry home the vessels of the LORD.” As I read this, I felt God speak and say to me I need to leave my bonds and my slavery behind. I am not a slave in terms of the how the Israelites were in the Old Testament. But I still have things which bind me, we all do such as: fear of rejection, mistrust, fear of loneliness, unforgiveness, shattered dreams, fear of what other think of us, brokenness from our past etc. In Exodus we see that although the Israelites were set free from Egypt, their thinking was towards Egypt and still thinking like a slave.

Romans 8:14-15 “For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by who we cry, "Abba! Father!" Here we see Paul contrasting the slave to the son. The slave reacts out of a place of fear and does things because he has to; while a son is free and responds out of a place of love and wants to do the Father’s will. The slave is worried about lack, and may mistrust the master; a son does not worry about lack and trusts his father’s heart. Do you think like a slave or like a son?

In Exodus 15:23-27 the Israelites found bitter water; God shows Moses a wooden stick to use to make the bitter water sweet. In this passage God is revealed as the Healer. He is also the one that can take our bitterness (difficult upbringing, fear of rejection, our loneliness etc.) and make it sweet through the wood of the cross. So let’s bring Him our hurts, pain and all that causes us to be bitter and allow Him to transform us to make our hearts sweet again. And sometimes we need a person (like Moses) to help us in the process of healing.

“Holy Spirit, speak to us; remind us that we are sons. Transform our thinking, so that we will not be bound in slavery but live freely as sons.” Listen to this song

My prophetic painting:
From chains to sweet freedom

May God bless you in the knowledge that you are a son

May He keep you from bitterness

May He make His face shine upon you in the transformation

And give you peace as He makes your bitter water better

Disappointment scars

Last year I turned the big 3-0, and so for my birthday my parents had planned a trip for me without knowing it to the Cape, where I used to stay and where many of my friends lived. At first my parents kept the secret well, although I had my suspicions since I knew we were going somewhere. Then I visited my aunt, and she let it slip that we were heading to the Cape. I remember the disappointment of having found out the surprise before it happened. I was so sad and disappointed that while cooking that night I burned my hand, I called it my disappointment scar.

Disappointment scar

As I was crying, pouring out my disappointment I was reminded of the story of Joseph.

At a young age Joseph had gotten a promise from God that he would be a leader, and that his brothers and even father would bow down to him. Although he was perhaps a bit arrogant in sharing his dreams, God used even his mistakes for God’s greater purpose. Can you imagine the disappointment when his brothers first tried to throw him into a pit then tried to sell him. Imagine the hurt as he traveled to a foreign land, wandering where the promises of God where. Then he gets sold as a slave, and he begins to prosper, and he may be feeling grateful that things are starting to go his way. And temptation pops up in the form of his master’s wife. Joseph does the right thing and runs away from temptation; but instead of being rewarded he gets thrown into prison! Doing the right thing isn’t always easy and it doesn’t result in instant great results, but it still is right! Can you imagine what Joseph was thinking in a wet, dark smelly dungeon? But even in Joseph’s lowest point, God lets him gain favour. Lots of people speak of the favour of God, but I wander how many would be willing to have the favour of God in the dark prisons of their lives. I wander if Joseph struggled to fight bitterness as he thought of the promises of leadership, while being a slave/prisoner. Then there came an opportunity to interpret the dream of the cup-bearer who was soon to return to Pharaoh, but alas this too ended up in disappointment. Only later when Pharaoh had a dream did the cup bearer remember Joseph, and through God’s gift of dream interpretation did he get see free and become a leader. It is said that Joseph stayed in prison for a long time- enough time to get disappointed and bitter. Did Joseph grow bitter? No, as we can see in Gen 50:20 “ for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive” he understood that although his brothers were wrong and did evil, God redeemed the situation, i.e. he turned evil to good. (For the whole story of Joseph see Gen 37-50).

How then can we avoid disappointment from causing bitterness to grow in our hearts? Heb 12:15 says “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no "root of bitterness" springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.” So we see that it is the grace of God that we need to attain, to diligently seek God’s grace that prevents bitterness to sprout. From Joseph’s life we can learn to trust God’s hand over our mistakes, and the mistakes of others; to be faithful where we are and remind ourselves that no matter the disappointment/sin God can still turn around. (And for those interested the trip ended up being amazing and included a surprise party, which was a surprise).

May the LORD bless you to trust Him

May He keep you in his grace

May His face shine upon you in your hard times.

And give you peace, even in your disappointment

My surprise party :)

Yet I will praise the LORD

Recently in my Quiet Time I felt God ask would I still seek Him, regardless of whether my breakthrough comes, regardless of the feelings (even peace) I get from being with Him and would seek Him above and beyond my calling?

You see we are all waiting for some kind of breakthrough, for some it's marriage, for others health, for others children, a job etc. And we may have even received word from God and confirmation from others, but will we seek the God who is the giver, more than His gifts? 

And we know that being with God brings peace, He is prince of peace (Isa 9:6) and at times His presence can flood our emotions and we feel satisfied, for He alone is the living water (John 4:10). Yet we should seek God above the feelings that He brings (see Exodus 33).

And the last one calling, this is something that God wants us to do for Him that brings Him glory. But you see as soon as I seek my calling above God, it becomes an idol. Would I still seek God even if I don't get to do what I'm called to? This one is hard since God is the one who has created us with the gifts and given us the calling; so to disrespect this could show disrespect for God. But if the only time I come to God is to hear what to do next, to get open doors I become like a wife only intrested in her husband's credit card, not his heart.

Let's look at the some Scriptures. In the story of  Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego they refused to bow to any idol, and they were confident of God's rescue from the firey furnace. They said, ".... the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods" Daniel 3:17-18 (emphasis added). They said even if God would not rescue them (give them a breakthrough) they would still worship God. Habakuk 3:17-18 says "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior." Let's have the type of faith that says no matter what I will praise and keeping seeking the LORD.

May the LORD bless you with this type of faith

May He keep you rejoicing in Him

May He make His face shine upon you

And give you peace as you continue to seek Him

Add on Christianity

I've moved into an upper class area, and I've seen that Jesus easily becomes an add on to an already full life. I'm not judging, becuase even in my own life I've seen how easily one can slip from Jesus being my "all in all' to a 'nice to have'.

We are called to give Him everything, and we need to realize without Him we are truly empty and naked and even wretched (see Rev 3:14-22). But as I have seen this happen in my own heart, I ask how can we prevent our hearts from hardening and forgetting we need Jesus for our every breath.

The Bible says to seek God with all our hearts. Jer 29:13 says, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." James 4:8 "Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded." But if I'm honest I fill my heart with add ones. Because if I'm brutley honest it's easier to turn on the T.V. then it is to seek God (ouch!). You see T.V. has an instant reward and I feel better, because for that little bit I forget my problems. And that's the thing with all things we gravitate to, whether it be drugs, people, busyness, possessions etc., they fill the hole. But the problem with these things is it only fills the hole for 5 seconds. Coming to God is harder, takes longer and sometime more painful since it means facing our problems, facing the pain and not escaping it; long enough for Him to make us whole.

You see seeking God takes time and effort (I'm talking about really knowing His heart), and there are no five steps, even though it be easier since we humans prefer religion over true relationship. You see sometimes when we seek Him there is nothing, sometimes there's pain we need to face, things He asks us to do which are hard, other times there's a quiet peace and every now and then God shows up with His manifest (seen) presence & it is GLORIOUS!!! But it is hard work, and means seeking Him and keep on pressing on, as well as laying aside our idols.

So my challenge for us all, let's put aside the add ons, switch off the TV and make Jesus central again, no matter the cost.

May the LORD bless you as you seek Him

May He keep you from being satisfied by idols

May He make His face shine upon you Gloriously

And may He give you peace in the in between.

Fear & Relationships

Recently I went ‘tubbing’ (this is where you take tyre tube from a tractor down the river) with my family, yes we love adventure :)  And well it was a lot more rocky than I expected and at one point I got so scared that I got off my tube and walked down the rocks instead. You see about 3 years back (or more?) I went tubing and down the rapids I got hurt. I don’t remember what happened, but my parents tell me there was a cement wall and I went down and hit some rocks. But while my conscious memory cannot remember, my sub-conscious certainly can, and it induced a fear ride 3 years later. The whole ride I was anxious and fearful, and to be honest not enjoying myself. And I wondered is this how I approach relationships, full of fear and stopping half way and not just going with the flow/tide and enjoying the ride? You see some hurts in my past, even though some forgotten and others not, still impacts the way I do relationships now, hesitant because of fear that I will get hurt and I’m not only talking about romantic relationships. I feel it takes courage to try again in love after one has been hurt. But this (fearing people and relationship) is not how God calls me to live, instead He wants me to trust Him with my heart and from that place trust and love others freely.

Then there are those of you who have a different type of fear, the type that are like the Runaway Bride, afraid of being alone. These are the people who go from one relationship to the next. They are not like me who is scared to try in the first place, but instead they are afraid of what they will face if they are alone. They need courage and the help of God, to allow them to heal their hurts which cause them to cling to relationships, and they should give themselves time to be alone.

Neither these approaches are godly, for God says “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Tim 1:7 (NLT). You see through Christ we need to trust Him to free us from our fears, so that we can be brave enough to try again for He holds our hearts; or that we can be brave enough to be alone for in Him we truly are never alone. Let us allow God’s perfect love to wash away our fears (1 John 4:18).

May God bless you with courage

And keep you in His hands, as you face your fears

May He make His face shine upon you as He heals your hurts

And give you peace in yourself and your relationships

Poetry: Kaalvoetkind

Ek is 'n kaal-voetkind van Suid Afrika.

Ek staan by die see en die wind waai ou droome weg.

"Hoekom is jou hart seer my kind?"

Die son skyn maar die pyn bly;

Hoe kan daar beeldskoon en verwoesting wees in die selfde plek?

Ek is leeg, ek eet maar ek bly honger.

Ek bly soek en ek bly dors.

Ek soek my hart wat dans en sing. 

Ek soek my hart wat glo in goeie goed...

Ek soek myself en die groot Ek is sonder wie ek nie kan leef nie.

Ek mis die hardop lag; die kind wees, die droom en die eenvoudige vertroue in my pa in die Hemel. 

Ek stil my gedagtes

Ek kyk vir die see en onthou die Een met my is groter as die golwe, storms, see en seer.

En ek vluister saggies, "Pa, as ek spring; sal jy my vang?"

Erika Filter