BREAKUPS
SUCK!!! I know of very few good breakups. My friend is hurting, she
doesn’t need to say it but I know and I know that it’s because of the breakup
that her heart is broken. And I can’t help of think of how it was for me. At
first I was fine (denial big time). The one piece of advice I got, which would
irritate me a bit was to keep going to Jesus with the pain. After a while the
pain hit, not only was I losing my boyfriend, but my friend too which was hard. Not having
someone to do things with made me feel lonely. I remember one time I wanted to
go for a walk and there were no friends avalible to go with me. I remember
while walking feeling that the reason was so I could learn to be
alone again.
God speaks to
me with images and in that season God used the stair case outside my flat. My
friends were concerned that there was a crack in the wall of the stair case, at
first it was a small crack but it kept growing. I ignored it. Each week after
small group someone would say I should do something, but yes I ignored it while
the crack went from a hairline fracture till you could put your whole hand
inside. And a friend said that the wall and crack must have some type of prophetic
meaning concerning my life. I chuckled a bit at first. But after a while I realised
the wall represented my heart. At first the breakup felt like a small crack and
as time went by the pain grew worse. I remember there were 2 weeks, which was
after 2 months after the breakup, that I just cried & cried. I remember I
was at church and I was just crying. I barely heard a word the pastor preached beacuse I was too emotional. The only thing I remember the pastor mentioned, almost as
a side-line, is that Jesus is the healer of the broken hearted. And I was
pouring out my heart to the LORD asking him to do that for me. I felt as though
my heart was breaking, maybe even completely broken! This was the time the
crack had become a hole from the bottom of the staircase all the way to the top
(I lived on 2nd floor). So after lots of encouragement from my
friends I emailed our estate agent about the wall problem. It’s the same way
with a break-up we need to ask for help; I had a friend who let my vent on our
walks which I found extremely helpful. And after these two weeks of intense
heart-break I spoke to my ex, and that helped me get some closure. I would not
recommend this for everyone, I’m just telling my story. It was around this time
that they put cement into the hole of my wall. I then went for a road trip with
a friend, and through some real deep discussions and her honesty I felt like
the healing was done. As I returned home- the wall was painted white!!! And I just felt like it was finished...
And although
there was a real sense of completion, it doesn’t mean I never thought of him
again. But rather the pain was not so intense anymore. And God even took me to
a lot of the places we had memories so I could make new memories in those
places...He did a restoration work!
Ok what do
break-ups have to do with restorer of the breach? And what does that mean
anyway?! Isaiah 58:12 says, “thou shalt be
called, The repairer of the breach”. It speaks of Jesus fixing the wall.
You see walls represent protection and if there is a hole in the wall, the
enemy could come in. So for me this verse speaks of Jesus coming to do what He
did for me, of healing my broken heart. Of filling the gaps caused by the pain,
not only from break-ups but our past, parents, friends etc. You see Jesus restores
our broken hearts. So my advice for those who are broken-hearted is the same
advice I received- keep going to Jesus with your pain. He will protect you, He
will fix and cement your heart and He will at the right time paint it that you
will not be able to see there was a crack in the first place.
May the LORD bless you with knowing the
Healer of the broken hearted
May the LORD keep you safe as you bring
Him your hurt
May the LORD make His face shine upon
you with friends to walk beside you
And may He give you peace as He makes
you whole.
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